Dear Magi

I don't know how to put the umlaut on the A.
I don't know where you are,
but I hope that you know that I love you!

It's been a rough holiday this year, not because of family, and not because of a lack of food, but psychologically. Sam's 15th birthday was on the 13th of November, and I sent him a few words in an email wishing him a happy birthday. (He's technically a man now, even if our parents don't treat him like one).

Christine turned 25 on the 24th of November, and I sent her a few words in an email wishing her a happy birthday and saying I love her.

On thanksgiving I spent time with church families at the Pastor's house sharing life, love, food and God's fellowship. EJ and another coworker came and I was so happy that they did! I go to LifePoint church in Lynwood and it's a great community of people that really care.
I felt that I was surrounded by people who cared; who knew what it was like to be away from family on the holidays, so we were more like a family than my family was...

I know it's an odd thing to say, but it really feels this way.
I didn't call my immediate family on Thanksgiving. I didn't email them, and I didn't write a letter, and it was hard for me to do, but it felt like the right thing to do.
It felt like it was time for me to let them go more. and in the meantime look for a counselor that can help me through this season of life. I have the nagging feeling that my depression may worsen in the upcoming little while. I do not want this to happen. God has got me in his hands either way though.

I have only been encouraged to grow in my faith by the people in this church, and I am so thankful for God's grace and loving-kindnes!!!

I am encouraging EJ to come to church with me because of the GOSPEL and the community, he likes the people at church, because they're "normal" and unlike anybody else he has met. This may be due to  the fact that we know that we are broken and only still breathing by the grace of God and by Jesus' amazing sacrifice.

This Christmas will be different, I will be in NJ for my cousin's wedding, and in the air for most of the day during the 25th, so EJ and I are both bummed to not be spending that day together.
His family was going to come up to visit him in Washington, but he is debating going down to Venezuela to visit them. We will see what will happen. Hopefully EJ and I will get to celebrate on the 26th, but holidays make him sad due to his family being so far away. I wanted to send him to Venezuela, but it is his responsibility to do so, and he wants to save up for it anyway.
Be praying for him and his family, they need Jesus.

I have been praying for you and hope you are well!

Love,
me