Spiderbots and Spamflies

Sometimes I think that I'm actually more superpopular than I actually am, I check the statistics on my websites to check up on who has seen me, or how much I have been see.

I thought that the other day "Wow, I must be quite popular to have such an amazing number of people look at my blog daily..."

(those were the days when I had 3 people or even 4 people viewing it)

Then I realized that more often than not, search engines will link to photos or keywords and random spambots will go hunting through the cyberspace to find randomess and real people probably don't read this on a daily basis, except for perhaps a select 2 people.

Not that it matters.

But I found it interesting.

holidays

This is what I feel like right now:

Stores are playing Christmas music here.

It's too early, but quite nice.

Procrastination

Ok, so instead of applying for jobs, here I am updating my blog! I realized that I would much rather be payed to do this than to do a job that I would be people pleasing for. You see, I'm a people-pleaser, well, I guess I just said that didn't I?
Silly Carole, You're silly.
Gah! Redundancies!
Just did a little research and bloggers usually get paid to write about advertising things, goodness! I'm not entirely sure that I would be sufficiently satisfied with writing about shoes, or zippers, or the like.
And I'm stuck trying to find that song that I just heard on the radio, it isn't working!
(now that I have found a ridiculous number of amazing songs with the cool name, but not the right lyrics)
TOOooooootally distracted.
This is what I found on my computer from ages ago:

What I feel like on a daily basis once I've finished an enormous task that requires quite a bit of me.
Like this last show!
The Warehouse Project show presented by Sixth Day Dance Company was quite a hit! Seriously!
This was the best and most challenging show that we have ever done, and I was pushed to my limits in order to perform. But it was that challenge that kept me going. My friend Elizabeth commented that we dance for the challenge of it, not to simply release tension or emotion by dancing, so it's more of a intelectual stimulus, and physical challenge as we conserve energy in order to perform to the fullest extent of our ability by the end of the evening.

THIRD TIME ONLINE JOB APPLICATION, this is the third time I've tried to upload my resume...

Show

I had a show this weekend, it was awesome.

I need to take more pictures.

More later, 

right now, I'm busy.

Buzzing In My Brain

So when I have an anxious day I find that my brain processes things too quickly. So sensory overload is often a result of that. I get upset, and irksome, and put-out because nothing is right and nothing can be right until I've had a little fit inside. So how can I deal with it? Exerxcise helps, crying helps, pressured hugs help, and in general, warmth and pressure. Separating me from my environment that creates these conditions is really a good way to help stop the buzzing in my brain.
Sometimes.
Then there are the migraines.
Sometimes they last for what seems like an eternity, then there are other times where I simply can't afford another moment, rush home, and go to sleep. Sleep, silence and darkness usually help to relieve me. I've started to get migraines again, there have been two this week so far, a little one on Monday, and another one today. What is causing them? I wonder. I'm sure that there is a perfectly good explination as to why they have been so frequent this year and not for others, I shouldn't worry about it, and I shouldn't worry anybody else about it.
But still, research is inconclusive.
I do know however how to anticipate that a migraine is happening. I have been able to recognize the symptoms of an oncoming "episode" and what comes along with it.
Sounds start to sound tinny, and colors seem to be a a bit more defined against each other. but other things get fuzzy, like response time, and comprehension, also my ability to compose coherent sentences and conversations tends to go out the window when I'm starting to feel "fuzzy". But today, I got coffee, which tends to stop migraines mostly.

For the record, I hate coffee.
But I wanted to thank the baristas at the star-bucks in the U-Village mall right next to the Crate&Barrell store  for putting up with me when I couldn't even think straight enough to remember to ask for soymilk before she made it the first time...
I'm sorry!
I know how picky all of your cusotmers are!
My roommate works for that corporation.
I get to hear about all the picky people.
I hate being picky, and making life harder for the people whose job it is to help me.
I am a hot-tea person...
Not a coffee drinker.
So thank you again for serving me coffee!
You rock!


I'm sure that I was trying to write a more interesting post, but I seem to have gotten side-tracked. I wonder who else is as destracted as I am...

Learning

Ok, so
I'm seriously learning things. Like, how to sew when you don't own a sewing machine, and cooking, and cleaning, and looking for jobs, speaking of which I have an interview tomorrow with the company that Steve Jobs created.
(I seriously wish that emoticons could express the irony of that joke, because I would use them right here if I didn't have a personal vendetta against using them on my blog.)
I have a lot of vendettas, well, they probably aren't really vendettas, but more along the lines of severe dislikes and biases against.
Pigtails for example are not my favorite, and I will refuse to wear them unless it absolutely necessary. Also, the color pink. I'm learning to understand this as I travel through the emotional distress that it has caused me in the past, and why it matters at all. I do however like gummyworms very much.
Not that they are at all related to what I was just talking about, but they are quite nice every once and awhile. So, where was I?...

Blank Model Stare

Bwahahaha!!!

The other day I was making Bacon Lettuce and Tomato sandwhiches and I realized that I should probably take a picture of what I was eating, just for the heck of it, and I forgot, because of the sheer deliciousness of what it was I was eating. IF you could bottle the proper antidepressant (by the way, this is a joke) it would probably taste like bacon.

This song gets stuck in my head for days on end, and when I end up singing it I sometimes end up spouting it out randomly and perhaps frightening the people around me, until I explain why it is I'm singing a song about bacon. It also goes really well with Paper Towels.

Can you hear me giggling? I need to go eat lunch...

Ciao!

Julian Smith

This is so silly.
When you think of awkward, Julian fully accomplishes defining that with his witty videos, smart beats, and AWESOME silliness. Check it out!

If you don't laugh, it's a crime.

Anyhoo, life for me is going well, as my friend told me today, all my ducks are sort of, maybe headed to a row formation. But just barely. There's beginning to be a small semblance of order among this chaos, but it's very small, I'm very thankful though for everything that I do have.

Including silly videos.

I need to decide on my costume for Halloween. Willy Wonka? Mac and Cheese? Something having to do with an entirely monochromatic wardrobe? It has to be able to be danced in, whatever it is. Oh, and it'll probably be worn on the 30th instead of the 31st, so... >gasp< 

I could make more than one costume.

That's amazing. Maybe I'll dress up as a junk drawer, that way I could spread random accouterments over a costume for the 31st.  And still have something flowey to dance in the day before!

Oh the joys of being an artist! Possibilities are ENDLESS when it comes to what you have, and a budget of $0. Don't laugh! I'm serious, sometimes. Ok, you can laugh now.

Pwhoo, I seriously need to start rambling on film.